Saving Sex till Marriage

By Viridiana Sarabia

Event on sexual integrity, purity and the breakdown of the family took place on campus as speakers and students discussed abstinence as an option.

The Collegiate Association for the Research of Principles, known as CARP, is a group that works to unify students whose values govern their lives. There are two chapters in Las Vegas, one at College of Southern Nevada.

CSN’s CARP held its third campus talk on Nov. 1 on the North Las Vegas campus with a goal of educating students on saving themselves for marriage to create healthier and better relationships.

Speaker at the event Cheryl Wetzstein spoke on the topic.

“Clearly sexual activity is a core part of human life,” Wetzstein said. “In fact, it is the way we are able to continue as a living population. But the big questions have long been about when and with whom do we experience sex. What is the best for me and you?”

She added, “This is especially true when we understand the incredible power of the hormones released in men and women during sexual activity—dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, for starters. These hormones especially oxytocin called the cuddle hormone are intended to bond sexual partners together. Having sex casually or without love or with a short-term partner still triggers those physical hormones. And sexual activity results in feelings including feelings about self and actions.”

Understanding the effects of sex can be complicated, Wetzstein said. “The less obvious consequences of sex compared with all the attention paid to rates of teen pregnancy and unwed births and the rise of sexually-transmitted diseases… may actually be more important and more real to a young adult.” Some of the things that need to be considered are the emotional reactions and how sex changes relationships.

Wetzstein spoke with many young adults during the years she reported at The Washington Times. “The conclusion that I saw repeatedly among adults of all ages is that sex is incredibly special when done at the right time with the right person with the right heart. And for so many people, this meant in the context of marriage.”

Waiting till marriage may be advisable though many choose not to wait.

According to the National Institutes of Health’s report titled “Trends in Premarital Sex in the United States, 1954 to 2003” 77 percent of respondents in the study had sex by the age of 20 with nearly all of those having sex prior to marriage. Even among those who abstained until at least 20 years old, 81 percent had premarital sex by age 44. “Almost all Americans have sex before marrying,” the study found.

For those who wait to have sex till marriage, there are some intrinsic benefits. “The teens and young adults I spoke with who were practicing abstinence in their exclusive romantic relationships often told me they felt free,” Wetzstein said. “They said that since they had mutually agreed to sideline that aspect of their relationship, they spent their time enjoying events with others.”

Ryota Naito, CSN student who attended the CARP event, said, “Personally for me, I think sexual behavior is not something to be taken very lightly or casually. Even if people do so, there are a lot of long-term consequences to it if it’s handled very casually whether it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually: You name it. I personally believe in sexual abstinence. I know that if I get married, I want to give my complete self to my future wife.”

CSN student Chungbom Katamaya, who was also at the event, reflected on the positive side of sexual abstinence in a relationship.

“I’m personally engaged and I’ve been engaged with this Japanese girl for the past three-and-a-half years,” Katamaya said. “Both of us have walked the path of purity and sexual integrity and we are both committed to continue until we get married.”

Michael Cordero, CARP member, is waiting till marriage to have sex. “Three years ago I decided to become abstinent and focus on more important things in my life.” He finds he’s able to focus more innocently on his relationships with girls instead of having sex be his primary goal. He wants to wait to have sex and find a woman who will do the same. “For me, to know that my partner is saving their love for me is very comforting. It’s complete 100 percent commitment.”

Some think sex before marriage is beneficial.

Daniela Castaneda, CSN student who was not at the event, said, “Personally, I believe that if they’re ready to have sex, they can. I don’t think they need to wait on the approval of society but hey, everyone is free to do whatever they please with their bodies and their relationships.” She added that she thinks beyond an emotional connection, sexual attraction is important in a relationship. “It can bring you and your partner closer together. If you have sex before marriage with your partner, you can experience how it feels to be with them in an intimate way.”

The event left students thinking about the importance of sexual purity. For some who have already had sex in their relationships, it meant reconsidering it.

 

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