How To Survive A Zombie Attack

By Chris Moxon

To survive a zombie attack there are five rules people should know.

1. Do not go to wholesale stores (Costco, Sam’s Club)

People will be racing to these stores to stock up on supplies. Within a few hours, all survival equipment will be seized. This strategy ultimately takes away precious time from finding a secure location.

2. Stay silent

Guns are a classic way to stop a zombie in its tracks, but they make too much noise and will attract the undead to someone’s location. An effective alternative would be a blunt object. A baseball bat is a perfect example. A strong, swift, and accurate blow to the head will result in a small victory without alerting other zombies.

3. Avoid cars

A bump or loud noise could set off car alarms resulting in a swarm of unwanted zombies moaning their way to that spot.

4. Always have an escape goat

Not everyone will be in great physical condition. Survivors should actively seek these people out and keep ‘em close. Do not become attached to these people; they are the back-up plan in case zombies hone in on a person’s position.

5. Don’t be a hero

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for anyone. If someone is caught in the middle of a zombie horde do not under any circumstances try to be the hero. It may just be the reason why two people died that day instead of one.

Honorable mention:

In a zombie apocalypse, do not expect a synchronized dance routine as seen in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video. It is unrealistic to expect them to suddenly rise from a grave and know intricate dance steps that are choreographed to a hit song.

Happy Halloween!!!


%d bloggers like this: